Combining motherhood with free time is certainly possible but there are steps you must take for this combination to work. In the next article, we will explain the same steps and help you get back to doing the things you love. It can also free up your personal time just to sit and watch TV if that’s what you want to do.
Combining motherhood with free time – changing attitudes
Every mother puts her children before anything else and by changing attitude, we do not mean to lower them on the scale of priorities but to raise yourself on that scale. Whether it’s mental health and relaxation or just doing the things you love in your spare time than the things your kids love to do. It is easy to forget yourself after the important thing in the world has come but it must not be done. Just because you do not give of yourself every moment to take care of children in one way or another, does not mean that you are not a good mother.
Before the child arrived, you had dreams. Whether it’s traveling, helping people or advancing in your dream job, everything is still achievable and it all depends on changing your approach to the world and life. To stay sane, you must do the things that make you yourself, each one has something different.
We will immediately present the ways in which you will be able to combine motherhood and free time but before that I want to present to you the bottom line of this section – you can not give 100 percent of yourself all the time and you must do things for your soul. It is important to say that I started with this section because all the ways to properly integrate are subsections of changing attitude.
Combining motherhood with free time – accept yourself as you are
The change begins first of all acknowledging that you want to do it at all. Understand with yourself what change you want to make – you need to understand if you want to draw, sing, write, learn something new or anything else. Accept the fact that you now need to make time for something new that will do you good.
Combining motherhood with free time – Do not try to fulfill yourself through the children
The children know when this is happening and the pressure on them is great. Sometimes, we forget that our children are human beings in themselves and they are not us. Therefore, if they fail and fail, it does not mean that you fail and it should not affect your personal psyche. Of course you can (and should) be pissed that your child is failing to do something but that piss comes only because you want to see your child succeed and not yourself. You should be your child’s place of refuge and if this bass is projected on yourself or the child, he will not feel that he can “fall” on you in moments of need.
Combining motherhood with free time – Take time for yourself
Easy to say, hard to do. Leaving the child for the first time (or thirty), with the babysitter, is not easy and it is a difficult experience for any parent, both because of your feelings and because of the feelings of the child who sometimes cries because the parents go. There is no choice and it is something that must be done otherwise you will just have no time for yourself and no time with your husband as a couple.
To find the best babysitter for your child, you need to do a market survey. Ask friends, neighbors, parents of children in kindergarten and more. You can also ask grandpa, grandma, aunt and uncle to do a babysitter and thus save a few shekels. It is important to put money into your budget for a babysitter so that you can indeed make time for yourself without breaking the bank. If you can not leave the child with a babysitter (mentally or financially), just take him with you if possible. Sometimes what is needed is not free time from the children but to do what you love.
Combining motherhood with free time – clean external voices
Sometimes a voice will jump to your head telling you that if you take time for yourself now, you are preventing something from your child because instead of cooking for him for example you are doing what you love. Like any negative voice, you must label it as such, ignore it and replace it with a positive voice that will encourage you to do the things you want to do. You will still be the best mother to your children, even if it takes you an hour to pursue your hobby .
Combining motherhood with free time – help from the husband
I’m sure you’re already aware of this but you do not have to do all the housework yourself. Your husband can definitely wash dishes, do laundry, prepare food and more. There’s no reason you should be in charge of all this stuff while he’s sitting on the couch watching TV. Lest you misunderstand, there are men who do a lot at home. My husband for example, is the one who does the shopping, he is the one who prepares food (he is a cooking enthusiast) and he helps with hanging and folding the laundry.
My intention is to share with your husband that you want to devote some time to yourself and ask him to help by giving him a little free time on the schedule whether it is in the housework as we mentioned or in being the one to watch the child for two hours doing what you love to do.
Follow these steps and see how you fulfill yourself every day more and more. Put yourself higher on the priority scale and change your attitude towards life. Only in this way will you be able to continue living calmly and peacefully and not under stress.